Is A Big Life Decision Taking A Toll On Your Relationship?
Have new changes in your life altered the dynamic of your romantic relationship, and it seems like you’re not on the same page anymore?
Do you feel that you’re not validated, understood, or listened to—like you don’t have a voice in your relationship?
When making big life choices, feeling that you are both on the same side is very important.
Perhaps you’ve recently become a parent or are thinking about having a child. Or you may have taken on the care of elderly parents.
Maybe different work hours due to a career change are leaving you no time to spend together. Or perhaps you are separated or divorced and are facing the challenges of co-parenting your children.
It is not uncommon for big life events to cause difficulties in a partnership. The stress that these adjustments can cause may leave you feeling overwhelmed about how to best navigate them for your children, yourself, and your spouse (or former spouse).
Not Being On The Same Page Can Make You Feel Unheard and Unappreciated
Perhaps you are doing everything you can to make the best out of the situation, but your efforts seem to go unnoticed. And you don’t feel the connection you once felt in your relationship.
Maybe you’re starting to feel doubts creeping into your life, and the thoughts of "you should" or "I should" are repeatedly going through your mind. Or you may have begun thinking of work as a respite from the stress of home. And at the same instance, you start feeling ashamed of these thoughts.
All you want is to be heard, seen, and understood. And when these needs aren’t being met, the feeling of love can become more and more distant.
Thankfully, no matter what life has in store for you, couples therapy can help build up the groundwork for love, realigning your values and focusing on truly being present with one another.
All Relationships Will Hit Bumps At Times
Divorce rates in younger generations are lower. However, this may be due to many young people choosing to forgo the idea of marriage completely.
Of course, a committed relationship doesn’t always have to end in marriage. Defining your relationship is up to you and your partner to decide. The fact, though, is that couples therapy can help all partnerships.
Communicating Effectively Is A Challenge For Many Couples
Not all couples communicate the same, and keeping the lines open can be difficult if someone has trouble clarifying what they value. People cannot meet expectations that they aren’t aware exist, since they don’t have the ability to read each other’s minds. Many people make the mistake of making assumptions about the ones closest to them, which is why communication is so valuable.
The strongest relationships are aligned in values. Learning to effectively communicate your values as a couple through counseling can help you with life decisions, anchor you when life gets complicated, and guide your choices.
Couples Therapy Can Help You Process Challenges And Strengthen Your Relationship
At The Sacramento Counselor Group, our therapists provide a safe, neutral place for couples to discuss what is causing the rough patch in the relationship. We can help you find and correct miscommunications while developing and practicing skills that can aid in strengthening your bond. Once you learn and apply these tools, sharing needs and expectations will become easier.
What To Expect In Couples Counseling Sessions
We practice solution-focused therapy—finding what works and what will be successful in the present for you as a couple. That means we aim to move away from any disagreements you may have had in the past and, instead, ask “how can we move forward?”
Assessing patterns in behavior is a big part of this process. Your therapist will guide you toward identifying where each of you diverts from what "is happening" into a space of "what you think is happening."
The way we perceive each other plays a big part in our ability to connect. Having a neutral, caring, and unbiased therapist to support and facilitate a better understanding is exactly what couples counseling can offer.
Methods And Tools We Use In Couples Therapy
Depending on your needs as a couple, we utilize a variety of counseling approaches to promote communication and strengthen your relationship, whether you are together or co-parenting.
Communication Skills Development – for example, reflective listening for couples is all about strengthening communication skills and the opportunity for you and your partner to both feel heard. And fair fighting involves creating rules and boundaries for dealing with disagreements, which helps protect the relationship and keeps it healthy.
Emotional Focused Therapy (EFT) – a method that can help you move from an abstract to a more specific understanding of your and your partner’s emotions and learn how to express them more effectively.
Parenting Skills Development and Co-Parenting – whether you are parenting together or co-parenting, skills are needed to be able to properly navigate the relationship for the benefit of your children.
Distress Tolerance Skills – focuses on learning how to deal with uncomfortable situations as an individual and building your self-awareness.
Alignment Work – ensures that couples are on the same page when it comes to their values, expectations, wants, needs, and what is best for their children.
Preventative measures are the best form of care for relationships. Doing regular maintenance will allow you and your relationship to flourish.
You May Be Interested In Couples Therapy But Have More Questions…
Are we too broken?
Nothing is ever truly broken, but fixing things will take work and dedication. One of the biggest challenges in any relationship is that you do not control the other person. You can not decide how much work the other person is willing to put in. It is not our goal to keep couples together; it is our goal to get you to the healthiest relationship state possible.
What if my partner doesn’t want to participate?
Couples therapy is very helpful, but it can only be as helpful as both parties allow it to be. We encourage couples to come in and be open to the idea of having a neutral person involved. Most people end up being grateful for the process. If your partner is still not willing to participate, maybe starting with individual services can be a beneficial place to start.
How often do we need to be seen and how long will it take?
Services vary from person to person or couple to couple. We typically encourage couples to start with once-a-week appointments. As their symptoms and challenges decrease, we move to biweekly, then monthly appointments. By being consistent in your scheduling, services, and practice outside of sessions, you decrease the length of your overall treatment. Most couples find improvements within 12-26 sessions.
Are You Ready To Have A More Fulfilling Relationship?
Couples therapy at The Sacramento Counselor Group can teach you effective communication skills to strengthen your partnership. To get started, we invite you to schedule a free, 15-minute phone consultation. Call (916) 707-1758 or visit the contact page.
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