What Help New Parents Actually Want You To Offer
Have you ever heard of the pink flamingo theory? During infancy and toddlerhood, mother flamingos lose their iconic pink color due to malnutrition while nurturing their babies. Mother flamingos typically don't get their lovely pinks back until the baby is fully independent, a few years later.
No doubt mothers experience an array of emotional changes during pregnancy and long after birth, but what is not as commonly known is that mothers may also experience a complete psychological shift and lose a sense of identity and individuality; even several years after having a baby.
Each new parent has needs that vary based on their experience and newfound reality, so it's essential to communicate openly and ask them directly about the specific ways you can help. Your willingness to assist and support them during this transformative time will mean more than any amount of unsolicited advice you may share with them.
So what help do new parents actually want you to offer and what they want you to understand about what mother is experiencing physically, emotionally, and spiritually?
Sharing Educational Resources vs Unsolicited Advice
Sharing books, articles, or online resources on baby development, parenting techniques, and child safety can be valuable for new parents and often less invasive than giving out unsolicited parenting advice. Having a child is a huge transformation and new parents often want to just be supported and trusted that they will figure it out themselves. A parent may choose to go a different parenting route than you went down yourself, it's crucial to avoid any unmindful parent shaming(not taking your advice does not mean they are questioning the parenting choices you've made). If you have valuable information you would like to share with new parents consider how to phrase the advice…
"I know all kids are different but this is what worked for me…."
"I found an article that may help…"
Becoming new parents naturally comes with feelings of self-doubt so telling a parent how to raise their child may add to those feelings. Sometimes the best thing you can offer is words of affirmation, a simple "You are doing amazing, we are proud of you".
Postpartum Recovery Support
Postpartum Recovery does not only include physical pain and discomfort, but emotional imbalances and a complete psychological change. Making sure mother stays hydrated, rested, and consuming the proper nutrients is crucial for both momma's and baby's health. Providing resources for postpartum recovery can be extremely beneficial for mothers. Mother is feeling extremely uncomfortable during this time; amongst the excitement of the new baby we often forget to check up on momma too. When visiting baby make sure to ask mom if there's anything you can do for her to make her more comfortable. Bring a postpartum basket rather than toys and clothes for baby.
Building a PostPartum basket
Nipple cream
Cooling pads
Belly balm
Postpartum underwear
Food delivery gift cards
Lip balm
Heating pads
Supporting the Household
While parents are grateful that their child is surrounded by people that want to shower baby in love, offering to hold the baby while parents clean up the house may not be the best way to offer your support.
This is what help parents want you to offer
Running a quick errand
Meal prep
Household chores
Help with older children
Accompanying them to check-ups and appointments
Always ask the new parents what they specifically need help with, as each family's situation and preferences may vary. Mental health check-ins are another way to ensure parents that you are present to offer unconditional support. By offering your support, you can help new parents feel more confident in their parenting journey. If the stressors of postpartum recovery and being new parents create additional feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression reaching out to a licensed therapist may help relieve some of those symptoms and give parents peace of mind to focus on enjoying the greatest love of their lifetime. Reach out to us today to learn more about our Postpartum services or our services for those supporting new mothers/ parents.